tumakhunter

Hello, and welcome to my blog, "The Hammer and the Lantern."

While I will occasionally still post articles, etc, most of the more personal stuff is locked up for LJ "Friends" only, due to a number of recent security concerns.

Yeah, I know it's been a bit.  Sorry.  :(

This weekend was the Vancouver FanExpo, a comic book / sci-fi / videogame convention, and the largest Vancouver has, apparently, hosted before.  I know - I wondered why we hadn't had them here before, either.  We have the market for them. 

Anyway, I was stoked about this.  I've never been to a Con before that wasn't, essentially, a bunch of guys selling off backstock in a church basement somewhere.  This was exciting.  I bought my 2 day pass online a week before the event, which is a bit last-minute if you think about it, but oh, well.  Stardancer was eager, as well, and you could print off a coupon to get up to 2 children under the age of 12 in for free with a parent's (or guardian) paid admission.

Saturday I went by myself.  Stardancer had dance class until noon, and was going to be running around with Mom doing some errands, which disappointed her.  But we had our costumes lined up for Sunday, so it was all good.  I arrived Downtown and looked at the monstrous lineup to get in.  I blanched a bit before realizing that there was another, shorter line for those of us who had bought online.  Yay foresight!  Once in, I texted my friend Jay, who was in town for the event, and we arranged to connect, then I wandered for a bit looking around.I saw the artist's row, and the stars signing autographs.  I looked over some of the merchant booths, and the fan booths, then finally met up with Jay and his friend.  Most of the rest of the day was spent with them, catching up and wandering some more, but after we finally seperated, I discovered the booth for a band called Kirby Krackle, where they let me listen to one of their songs (Ring Capacity) on an ipod they had set up for the purpose.  I loved it!

After that, I stopped by the booth for my old employer, Golden Age Collectables, where I saw a friend working.  I had been by earlier, but not recognized anyone, which was both weird and a bit disconcerting.  However, since I haven't even been by the store in three or four years, I suppose it stands to reason that there would be staff I didn't recognise.  Anyway, I chatted with my friend, Misty, for a few minutes, determining that she'd be there Sunday as well, and arranging to use their booth as a touchstone for Stardancer if we got seperated.  When I told her that Stardancer was going to be in her Supergirl outfit, Misty said she'd wear the same one. 

As an aside - most of the cosplayers were dressed fine.  I only saw one woman and two men dressed in a way I might consider questionable for being around little ones.

Sunday, Stardancer and I hit the Convention Centre by 11:30.  We connected with Misty, then wandered around looking at things for awhile.  She really loved all of the costumes, and we got photos of her with a couple of other kids (whose parents actually approached us, not the other way around) and with R2D2.  I had shaved off my beard so that I could dress as Green Lantern Abin Sur, and we got some photos of us together.


The only thing that marred the day was a little encounter with Kevin Sorbo - and it was really brief.  Stardancer and I were wandering around, and were near the photo booth, where you could, for a fee, get your picture taken with one of the celebrities that were there.  Out of nowhere (ie - the booth) someone came quickly walking by, reached down and poked her in the belly, and kept walking.  I barely realized what had happened at first, it was so fast.  I looked back over my shoulder to see who it was and saw Kevin Sorbo (he has an unmistakable look, even from behind) walking quickly back to the autograph area.  Stardancer was rubbing her tummy, a bit hurt, but mostly indignant.  I squatted down and made sure she was alright, then we continued on our way.

I'm pretty sure that all he was thinking was "cute kid.  Give her a belly tickle," but really that was pretty invasive to do to a complete stranger, especially without saying anything before or after to either her or her parent.  My biggest regret is that I didn't call him on it, instead walking away.  In fact, I beat myself up over it pretty badly Monday, worried about what messages that behaviour was sending to Stardancer.  That it was all right because he was a celebrity?  No, we covered that he was inappropriate and a jerk.  That I wouldn't defend her if she was attacked, choosing instead to comfort her (the victim)?  :/  Yeah, that message was there.  If someone attacks you, just walk away?  Yeah, that message was given as well.  Not liking this.

Frak.

Other than that, we had a good time, and hung out for at least another half hour to an hour.  Stardancer picked out a couple of t-shirts from the Tower of T-shirts booth, and ate four lollipops at the GAC booth.

Remember this?  I think I finally figured out who the goddess was that I swore that oath to.  I think it was Eostre.  Huh.

Every morning, I spend roughly 80 minutes commuting to work via transit.  I take a total of three busses, and ride the skytrain.  Oftentimes, if it's a day that she's working, I will sit with a friend, the mother of one of Stardancer's classmates, and chat for two of the busses and the train ride, after which we each go our own ways for the final leg of our individual commutes.

Yesterday was one such day.  I got on my first bus, and sat down next to my friend.  We got to chatting, same as we always do, about nothing in particular.  I noticed a woman sitting across from us, however, one who had just the vaguest tingle of familiarity to her face.  Well, I didn't put much thought into it - I often get that, and for no particular reason other than my mind tends to remember faces and parts of faces really well, without necessarily giving them any further context.

We arrived at the bus loop, and boarded our second bus.  Still chatting with my friend, we sat down.  This other woman sat down across from us again.  The bus ride was s-l-o-w.  Traffic was really heavy.  I kept glancing over at this other woman, hoping to remember a bit more why she might seem familiar.  She was attractive - brown eyes, curly brow hair held back with a kerchief, blue jeans, coat, workboots.  She looked to be roughly my age.  She always seemed to be looking my way, as well.  Again, I didn't really think too much of that - I was sitting right in front of her, after all.  finally, though, she spoke.  "Where do I know you from," she asked, with a curious, slightly exasperated tone.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare, but I noticed you on the previous bus, and now this one, and I could swear I know you from somewhere."

"I was thinking the same thing.  You look ever so slightly familar, but I just can't place it.  Maybe from the bus ride, or perhaps you've seen me around town somewhere?"

"I don't know.  Maybe you just really stand out?"

"Heh - yeah, I'm kinda freaky lookin' that way."

"Or maybe just really handsome."

At this point, I did something I really hate seeing people do when they recieve a compliment - I disseminated.

Pause, looking playfully thoughtful.  "Nah - must be the freaky lookin' thing."  Smile.

"Well, either way.  It's been a pleasure looking at you."

"Thank you," I replied, and turned back to my friend to chat for the rest of the trip.

I've been thinking of this encounter ever since.  As I mentioned, I really hate it when, upon recieving an honest compliment, someone disseminates, either by turning it around to pick out something negative about themselves, or simply dodging the compliment entirely.  So why did I?  I wish that I had seen her again after work, just so I could mention, and thank her for the kind words.  They made me feel nice, though I am always surprised when someone compliments me in such fashion.  It's different when I recieve a compliment about a garment, or my attitude, or somesuch.  When it's about me I get a bit flustered.

I still have no idea where we might know one another from.  Maybe even some pagan thing, but I've generally found that people don't like such mentioned on public bus rides.  Who knows..?

Aaand the Yuletide season has begun.  Here I am, sitting at work, on the morning of the Solstice, while at home, my wife prepares to begin her working day.  Sigh.  One of these years, I'll be able to take the time off, right?  All twelve days would be awesome.

My family mostly does the "secular pagan" Yuletide, though.  Obviously, there is no Nativity set up in our house, but we do have a tree, and some lights, and other decorations.  We send out cards, and display the ones we've recieved.  There is baking, and food.  On the Solstice (today) we open one gift each, then wait for the 25th for the rest, so that Stardancer can see what Santa brought.  Most years we are at my Catholic in-laws house, and they do gift opening Christmas Eve.  This year will be different, though.  I won't be going at all, and Stardancer and her mom don't go until Christmas Day. 

I am trying to learn more of the heathen traditions around his time of year, and to put them into practice.  Honestly, I'm still quite new at it, even if it has been four years.  Last night was Mother's Night, a night to honour all of our foremothers.  But I really don't know what to do for it.  I found some nice articles, saying I should feast them, and make offerings and prayers.  Ideally I would include all of the family in this, but I didn't this year.  Last night, we had a sparse dinner, then relaxed for a bit.  After putting Stardancer to bed, I had to run out to the grocery store for some things, so picked up a large Hershey's chocolate bar to make in offering.  When I got home, I made a very simple prayer of thanks to the Idessa (ancestral foremothers), and broke half of it up into my offering bowl.  As a quick offering, chocolate felt appropriate.  I need to do more to build relationships with Them, however.  I don't do enough, and can feel the lack.

The past two weekends, I was at other community Yuletide gatherings, however, both of which were awesome.  Pagans know how to ring in the season, let me tell you.  ^_^

Ah, Remembrance Day. 

Every year, I take my family to our local services at the cenotaph.  It was a lot less crowded this year, I think, though I am not sure why.  My town always has a large turnout.  We watch the parade - the veterans marching, the politicians, the cadets and scouts (all levels, both genders).  And the marching bands.  Stardancer likes the pipe band.  :)  As they were dismissing the Silent Guard at the end of the ceremony, I saw a crow (or maybe a raven?) fly overhead, across the crowd.  I told Stardancer it was one of Woden's, that he was watching us honour the fallen troops, and those living as well.

It used to be that the community I was in - more the neighborhood, I guess - did a small thing that wasn't as well attended.  I liked how it felt so intimate, knowing that the majority of people were at the main ceremony just a few kilometers away.  I went to that one until Stardancer was one year old, but then we moved from that neighborhood. 

I always get teary-eyed when the planes fly overhead in the Missing Man formation.  At the end, I always do a shared drink of Coca Cola with the troops - kind of a mini-symble, if you will.  Stardancer and I cracked open a bottle and shared our drink, and I poured some for the Fallen, and some for Woden.  Then we headed to the central spire, along with much of the rest of the crowd, to leave our poppies with the wreaths, an offering of remembrance made by the community to those who fell in our defense.

Let me begin by saying that I am not ordinarily a hockey fan.  Surprised?  Well, I expect you would be after seeing all of my "Go Canucks" posts over on FB.  But as much as I might like it to be otherwise, the game just never really grabbed me.  However, I have never disliked it, either.  Which made it really easy to become a "Playoff Fan" during this final run to the Stanley Cup - the top prize in professional hockey.

There were a lot of those.  The city made accomodation for them, having huge televisions set up in the downtown core for people to gather and watch the game.  Perhaps that was the mistake.

On any normal day, I am proud to live in Vancouver.  I am happy to laud it to any who will listen, how friendly we are, all the green space, etc.  This morning, though, I am ashamed.

Don't get me wrong, for as ashamed as I feel, I am equally unsurprised.  People were heading downtown before the game last night with intent to riot, whether we won or lost.  Everyone knew this.  If you watch the news footage, you will see a few of the inciters are wearing black clothing, sunglasses and masks covering their faces.  Black, not blue or green.  The very same disruptors that tried so hard last year to destroy our Olympic experience. 

These aren't fans of the team, or even of the game.  I know, you always hear the rhetoric, "Those weren't the real fans who were rioting."  But they weren't.  At least, not the ones who were inciting things.  The people doing the worst of it weren't the ones who, year after year, spend hundreds of dollars on tickets and merchandise in support of their team.  They weren't the ones who sit at home during the season with their kids as they cheer their team on, or who later sit there with their adult parents reliving a ritual done hundreds of times over the years.  This wasn't them.

It was fans who, like myself, really only became interested because our home team was doing so well.  In the forty years of our NHL franchise, we have never won the Cup.  Prior to last night, Boston hadn't won it in 39 years.  It was exciting that we had not only gotten so far this year, but that we had been the top team during the season.  It's been seventeen years since we last saw the final round of the Playoffs.  Tell me that ain't exciting.  Unless you are a die hard Canucks hater, or hockey loather, you probably were a little excited about the possibility that we might win the Cup.

Most of the "fairweather fans" like myself were simply disappointed last night.  We got that far but couldn't pull it off.  Ok, turn off the tv, or pack up and lets go home.  Life moves on.

One thing to be proud of, though, is this morning.  There has been a huge outpouring of support for the city in the aftermath of this.  There are FB groups dedicated to posting photos of the perpetrators, or to organizing the cleanup of the city.  I would be downtown myself, helping with those efforts, except that I have to be here, at work, to support my family.  Instead all I can do is write these words, and lend moral support to the cleanup crews.

I choose to make this post public, because I still am proud of this city, even in it's shame.

It's 5 am.  Time to haul myself out of bed and start the day.  I get up and go out to the kitchen.  Feed Ash (the cat) who is mewling like I never feed him.  He lies - he is the stomache that walks like a cat.

Groggily I grab the coffee pot.  I reach over to the dishrack and pick up the miniature coffee mug that I use for Brid's devotional coffee every morning, and pour.  "Hail Brid," I mutter under my breath.  "Hail and good morning."  I place the cup on the counter between the coffee pot and the toaster oven, then get my own cup ready - milk, sugar, coffee, in that order.

Taking my cup into the living room, I open the cabinet in which I have begun storing my morning ritual supplies.  I take a drink of coffee and put the cup on a shelf.  Reaching into the cabinet, I grab my altar cloth - a silk bandanna 2' square that I was given by a freind many years ago to use as a wrapping for a deck of tarot cards I never really used.

I drape the bandanna across the cedar chest, then go to the tv stand and grab the Lord of the Rings dvd boxed set, bringing it back and placing it on the trunk.  Back to the cabinet, where I grab the framed picture of the Irminsul I found online.  It goes up against the dvd's (which are only there as something to lean the picture up against).  Grab well-mug and jar of well water, place on altar and pour.  Candles next, then Thunaer figure and hammer, finally bowl and runes.  Is that all?  Take a drink of coffee.  Take another.  Go get notebook, pecil and cel phone.  Finish coffee. 

Pick up zippo lighter from bowl, say prayer to Brid ("Brid most divine, bless this one small flame, that it may grow and kindle love and healing in all beings").  The zippo's wick holds the Flame of Kildare, so every candle it lights is blessed with her flame.  Light candles.  Go pour another cup of coffee.

Place now full coffee cup on altar and begin.  Focus.  Blink.  Refocus.

(All lines are spoken under my breath or whispered.  It is 5 am, after all.)

"I place myself in the centre of the World,
Where Pillar and Cauldron are joined,
Overflowing,
Continually pouring over,
And sending waves of existence out into the World.
Before I perform my acts of worship, I take you into myself
That what I do might be equally productive
And out of me might flow wonders."
(A Book of Pagan Prayer, page 35)

Take a moment.  Breathe.

Take Hammer necklace off. 

"Eorþe, Mother, let theis Well be blessed."  Place pendant into well, leaving string hanging out.
"Tiwaz, Skyfather, kindle magic in this Fire."  Place dipper in tiny cup of olive oil, then into candle flame.  Let it burn off wire.
"Let this image be my Irminsul, spanning the Realms." Gesture at picture.
"That the Sacred Grove may be established."  Dip finger in Well and trace finger on forehead in the sign of the Hammer.  Wave hand over offering flame, brushing it towards my body.
"By the might of the Waters and the light of the Fire,
This Grove is made whole and holy!"

Pause.

"Hama/Heimdall/Mim, Keeper of Well and Bridge, help me to open the Ways."  Hold hand out over Fire and Well.

"By the Realms around me (Land Sky and Sea)
By the Kindreds Three (Gods, Dead and Spirits)
By Fire and Spire and Well
Let the Gate be open!"  Make opening gesture with hand.

"So the Way is opened and this place is claimed.
Let no Ill or harm come to me and mine
And wisdom, love and power flow to me through this Gate."

Pause.  Look longingly at coffee.  Move cup closer to Hallows.  Pause.

Pick coffee cup up, hold it high in salute.
"I drink in sumble to the Kindreds.  Join me in this cup.  I drink to my ancestors, and to the honoured dead."  Take drink of coffee.
"I drink in sumble to the Kindreds.  Join me in this cup.  I drink to the spirits of land and home."  Take drink of coffee.
"I drink in sumble to the Kindreds.  Join me in this cup.  I drink to the Tivar, holy Gods and Goddesses above."  Take drink of coffee.
"I drink in sumble to the Kindreds.  Join me in this cup.  I drink to Frigga and to Brid, whose day is today.  Hail Great Ladies!"  Finish coffee.

Pause.  Grab bag of runes.

"I ask now for any blessings or wisdom the Kindreds may have to offer."
"Ancestors."  Pull rune, place on altar.
"Spirits of land and of home"  Pull rune, place on altar.
"Tivar.  Great Gods and Goddesses"  Pull rune, place on altar.

Ponder runes a moment.

"It is the hour of recall.
Let bound be bound, and wound be wound;
Thus all is done, and done, and well done,
And thus I end what as begun.

The sacred centre has held well,
Now by Fire and Spire and Well,
Let this Gate be closed!"  Holding hand over Fire and Well, make closing gesture, then make the sign of the Hammer.
"To the three Holy Kindreds I give my thanks.
To Brid and Frigga, I give my thanks.
To Hama/Heimdall/Mim, I give my thanks.
To Eorþe and Tiwaz, I give my thanks.

Let Wisdom, Love and Power kindle in all beings.

This Rite is ended!"

Pause.  Grab celphone and take photo of runes that were pulled.  Email them to myself.  Remove Hammer pendant from Well, dry it off, and place back on neck. "Great Thunaer , I offer my worship and love.  Please bless and watch over me this day, as every day.  Thank you."

Clean up altar, putting everything away back in the cabinet neatly where it belongs.  Look at time - 5:35.  Turn on computer.  Go to sink and pour Well water back into jar.  Put well-mug and jar of water in cabinet, close cabinet up.  Write out a few notes.

Check email, facebook, etc for 15 min, then begin getting ready for work.

Here's a little something I'd like to try.  I'll need the help of my out of town friends, though - all of you who do not live in the same area as me (you know who you are).  I listen to a lot of radio at work, streaming it over the internet.  It occurred to me that it might be neat to hear some of the stations that other people, in other cities, listen to.  What sort of music, for example, would I hear listening to a local FM station in New York?  Melbourne?
So I ask (and I'll repost this to FB later) - what is the web address of your favourite local FM station, and what kind of music does it typically play?